Two very exciting things connected with our DadLadTour Euro25 occurred yesterday.

Bear in mind I got silly giddy at the promise of a “boxed breakfast to go” in an earlier blog entry (Ep. 5. “The Wind Beneath My Wings’, Wednesday 8^th January 2025). So, I hope you’re not anticipating genuinely exciting news in what follows. Please, lower your expectations. Dial it down from a head-banging, Spinal Tap style “11” to a more easy-going 3. Possibly even a 2.

What two things happened? I hear you all ask.

Remember I spent part (okay, most) of New Year’s Eve hunting online for a Swiss public transport and rail network map? Well, it arrived yesterday. All the way from The Netherlands – how appropriate, seeing as the Dutch team are in the same group at Euro25 as our amazing Lionesses. That’s quite exciting in itself, isn’t it? And a tad spooky. The map is titled “Schweizer Karte des Öffentlichen Verkehrs”, which is quite a magnificent moniker, isn’t it? Very grand. It is produced by Kümmerly+Frey – the leading publishing house for tourism in Switzerland. (Amazing what a Google search brings up.)

Its scale is 1:275,000. Impressive, eh! That means it is very detailed and clear. All the routes are shown so, whether you are travelling by train, bus, boat, cablecar or the mysterious, “much more” as detailed on the cover, this map is sure to have you on the right tracks.

It is also a synoptical map, or as the French blurb on it says, “carte synoptique“. Now I had no idea what that meant so I Googled it. Apparently a synoptical map is a weather map. So that had me puzzled. Another dip into the www with a tweaked search query and I discovered “synoptical” also means “1. : affording a general view of a whole. 2. : manifesting or characterised by comprehensiveness or breadth of view.” That makes more sense; my new acquisition is, therefore, an extremely detailed and comprehensive map.

I know what you are thinking. It sounds so wonderful that you want one too. Don’t you? I hate to disappoint you but the Kümmerly+Frey site says it is currently not available. I’ve over-sold it, haven’t I? And now you are totally gutted, like a fan whose team was leading 1-0 going into injury time only to concede on 90+1 and 90+11. Sorry. You’ll just have to enjoy mine from a distance.

And Thing Number Two that occurred?

Well, the English Football Association (FA) released details of where the Lionesses will be staying during the Euros and where they will be training. I found that to be quite exciting. Maybe you’re left a little nonplussed by this delicious morsel of info. Normally I too would shrug this off with a “meh” and a roll of my eyes. However, the England women will be staying in Zürich for the duration of their participation in the championships. And Zürich is the first port of call for Liam and I.

Naturally this led me to check out the hotel website and see if we could grab a room for the Wednesday night. Wouldn’t it be grand to fly to Switzerland, see the England versus Netherlands match and then chill out afterwards in the hotel and, maybe, catch a glimpse of the Lionesses milling around? Doing whatever Lionesses do after a game. Ping-pong, perhaps. Maybe some karaoke?

Yes, that would be grand. Which is roughly the cost, in sterling, for one night at the Dolder Grand in Zürich. A grand! Check out their website; it looks an amazing place. Incredibly picturesque and picture-perfect. You can see why, after extensive research and analysis of twenty-three other possible locations throughout the country, the FA chose it for our English roses. Only the best for the best.

The Dolder Grand has hosted many famous folk over the years. From real royalty to Hollywood royalty, from conductors of the classics to rock stars. The Prince of Wales stayed at the Dolder in 1980, no doubt the hotel’s sumptuous pillows cradling his head as Charles dreamed of one day becoming King. Leo DiCaprio, Rebel Wilson and Diane Kruger have bedded down there. Not in the same bed I hasten to add. (Well. I’m guessing they didn’t.)

Silver-haired fashion designer, Karl Lagerfeld, and Jimmy Choo, cobbler to the famous and deep-pocketed, have both sent their best togs and poshest shoes for a spruce up in the Dolder’s boot room. Chief conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic, Herbert von Karajan, has set his baton in the hotel safe. Cryogenically preserved rockers, The Rolling Stones, have rocked up at the Dolder on many occasions when they are in Switzerland. Maybe Mick and Co. stay there after being treated in some frozen Alpine laboratory? Whatever, it appears the Dolder Grand is not a place to gather moss. If it is, the moss will be, I suspect, of the finest quality available.

Sadly, though, GrumpPa and Dadda are two names that will not be added to the roll-call of the good, the great and the glorious to stay at the Grand. Grand by name, grand by wallet. And far too rich for the DadLadTour’s pockets.