I am scribbling a few lines ahead of going to Granddaughter-No1’s birthday party. I have to act swiftly when the muse strikes or risk losing these wordy nuggets which I’m sure you are all so eager to read. So, before I pop out to munch sarnies and birthday cake – and to see little Emilia, the birthday girl, obvs – I will continue with my ramblings.

I’m still banging on about my new map. Sorry…but it is truly splendid.

As yet I/we have not determined how Liam and I are going to resolve our Rätsel (conundrum, remember?) of how to travel from Bern to Geneva airport while avoiding the kerfuffle caused by construction work on the railway at Fribourg/Freiburg. My map has been very useful in providing various towns and cities we could head for to cut out the disruption, what I have now named, the “FFF” (Fribourg/Freiburg F*****)*. However, after then checking with the SBB railway timetable, alternative routes don’t have us getting to the airport any earlier or, frankly, easier than sticking to our original Bern-Geneva train option. Consequently, our Rätsel continues to confound.

*(The Fribourg/Freiburg Fiasco – what else did you think that third “F” stood for?)

***We have returned from the party. I refrained from a slice of cake. I am watching my figure, you understand.***

Whilst at the party, Liam mentioned that one possible solution is for us to stay two nights in Geneva rather than a single night each in Zürich, Geneva and then Bern (as per the venues of the matches we are watching). Then, after the Bern based Italy versus Spain game, we would simply return to Zürich via train (same FFF issues, I know, but more time to undertake the journey, therefore less stress). Then, because the Zürich hotel is only a few minutes from the airport, we could manage a decent bit of kip before setting off for our flight back to Manchester.

(P.S. Liam seemed mightily impressed with my map and practically begged me to leave it with him to peruse at length. Yes, I did take my Schweizer Karte des Öffentlichen Verkehrs to a child’s birthday party.)

I have enjoyed studying my map while working out our possible routes. And all this map perusing has prompted me to revisit a notion that Sarah and I first had several years ago. It was towards the back pages of a magazine, probably something like Cosmopolitan or, perhaps, Good Housekeeping, that I first became aware of it. Those two periodicals are not my first choice of reading material but they were in the loo and I was in the loo at the same time. Anyway, the advert (maybe it was an actual article – don’t forget I have a shockingly poor memory for this type of detail) leapt from the pages at me.

Or rather the picture did initially. A red train emerging out of a tunnel carved from the mountain. It’s scarlet carriages bending around a curving bridge supported by elegantly tapered limestone pillars; a crimson streak elegant against a canvas of snow covered trees and mountains. It was simply staggering in its beauty; a pulsing artery of sleek, precision engineering in stark contrast to nature’s glorious icy-white grip. The image gripped me and I devoured the words that accompanied this striking scene.

Some of you may recognise what I’ve described as The Bernina Express crossing the Landwasser Viaduct. If so, feel free to award yourselves a bonus point. If you don’t recognise it from my description then I implore you to Google it. I am certain you will agree that it looks stunning, amazing and totally awe-inspiring. Not just the Landwasser Viaduct, but the additional 195 bridges and viaducts, along with the 55 tunnels, on the 76 mile (122km) route from Chur in Switzerland down to Tirano in Italy.

The Landwasser was constructed between 1901 and 1902, was destroyed (on film only) for the animated movie Anastasia in 1997 and was placed on the UNESCO World Heritage list in 2008. Then, in 2009, for the first time in its history, parts of the viaduct were repaired. Can you imagine a structure built at the turn on the 1900s and standing in those extreme conditions not needing repairs for over one-hundred years? Quite an incredible heritage indeed.

Sarah and I immediately placed The Bernina Express on our “to-do” list. Doesn’t every couple have such a list? Lists that include “likely”, “definitely”, “wish wish wish” and “never gonna happen but we can dream” type things. Our list is mostly mundane; replacing that window with the blown seal, tidying the sock drawer; visiting Borneo; buying some new tea towels, demolishing the chicken-coop (actually, we can tick that one off, as it was taken down a few days ago). The Bernina was logged on our list under “never gonna happen”.

That is until the recent festive break when Sarah recorded a programme about the Bernina Express. We watched the “Alpine Train at Christmas” as the snow from the recent Big Freeze of 2025 still lay on the ground here in Yorkshire. It really helped set the scene for watching this beautiful rail journey through the frozen Alps. Narrated in the deliciously calm and reassuring tones of Lord Hugh Bonneville, Master of Downton Abbey – he keeps Paddington Bear at Downton, safely away from the marmalade cupboard, doncha know? – it was a stunning hour, or so, of television.

What with Lord Downton Bear’s prompting, combined with all this planning for the DadLadTour to Switzerland, travelling on the Bernina Express has once more captured the imaginations of myself and my beloved. Sarah has advised me that my trip with Liam and our experiences of the Swiss rail networks will act as good research for our own Bernina Adventure in a few years. Basically, Sarah has designated me as a guinea pig. To be fair, in the forty years we have been together, she has called me worse. Far, far worse.

Currently, our travel plans are:

2025 – DadLadTour to the Euros;

2027 – HisAndHers Berlina Express Adventure.

Seems I’d best get saving.