OK, hands up. Who else winced and, shocked, put their hands to their mouths in minute 90+1 of England versus Jamaica yesterday?

And, like me, were you mumbling words akin to, “Oh, no! No! Please not. That was horrible!”

I suspect a great many Lionesses fans were worried for England’s Beth Mead as she was clattered heavily – and somewhat needlessly, given this was a friendly fixture entering time-added-on with The Reggae Girlz trailing already 6-0 – by Jamaican forward Natasha Thomas. And, boy, did it look like a froward’s tackle – not malicious, simply poorly timed and executed. The England and Arsenal striker looked in pain and discomfort, and quite some distress, as she lay prone on the grass receiving treatment for several minutes. Slo-mo of the tackle appeared to show Mead’s knee buckling under the weight of the tackle and it must have been in everyone’s minds that she had suffered another major injury. This time on the eve of Euro 2025.

Thankfully, Mead was able to rise and walk from the pitch.

Relief flooded through this England fan at the sight of her going through stretches on the side of the pitch. Still, it seemed as if Mead’s match, possibly even her participation in The Lionesses defence of their title, could be over. But that relief turned to delight at seeing her return to the action; delight that transformed into glee on watching as Mead’s deflected shot secured England’s final goal in a 7-0 rout. Phew!* Panic over.

(*This proved to be the second “phew” of the match.)

It would have been an absolute – to quote Woody Allen, “travesty of a mockery of a sham” – for any player, regardless of their national team, to miss the upcoming tournament through an injury sustained in the dying minutes of a celebratory “send-off” match already comfortably won. Hopefully, in the days to come, any bruising or swelling or discomfort resulting from that tackle will cause Mead no problems and allow her to take part in England’s first group game against France next Saturday.

That is, if Sarina selects her…

This was the first time England and Jamaica women had faced each other. Played in searing temperatures at a sun-baked King Power Stadium in Leicester, this was an extremely comfortable run-out for England.

Jamaica looked fast and sharp on the attack, but only in isolated instances. They were rarely fast enough or sharp enough to worry The Lionesses very much; although Jess Carter did have a few moments of concern. Mind you, a wildly celebrated equaliser for the Reggae Girlz from Kayla McKenna was disallowed* in the nineteenth minute after VAR ruled that the delightfully named Kiki van Zanten was offside and obstructing England keeper Hannah Hampton.

(*This being the first “phew”.)

Jamaica had little answer to England’s territorial superiority and were threatened constantly by Lionesses from both wings and midfield. It was a midfielder – that perfect ten from our last blog – Ella Toone who, in the tenth minute, got the ball rolling with her first international goal in 16 months. Lucy Bronze powered home a header from a delightful Carter cross for number two before Toone got her second in somewhat fortuitous style. Ella’s beaming smile was acknowledgement that she knew how “flukey” this first-half injury time goal was.

So, three-nil at the break. All bright and rosey for The Lionesses.

England continued in the same vein after half-time. Alessia Russo had chances galore to score but the ball never seemed to sit just right for her. Plus, despite the eventual score-line, the Jamaican goalie, twenty-year old Liya Brooks, proved a capable shot-stopper when given an opportunity to make a save. Sadly for Brooks, many of yesterday’s goals were of the unstoppable nature.

Russo set-up Georgia Stanway to fire home the fourth. Then, to huge cheers, Russo eventually got on the scoresheet herself with a header following a delightful cross from substitute Lauren James, making her first appearance since April owing to injury. The sixth came from another sub, Aggie Beever-Jones, in the 85^th minute. And, then in minute 90+6, after all that concern and worry, up popped Mead to allay our fears.

A good result for The Lionesses. Nothing to get to over-excited by. After all, Jamaica were depleted by the absence of some quality experienced players, most notably their captain and talis(wo)manic striker, Man City’s, Bunny Shaw. But this result will install confidence in the squad, especially following the recent disappointing second-half against Spain.

And, not too inconsequentially, James is back to fitness.

Talking of back…you may have seen social media ablaze with news on Friday.

What news?

Well, on Friday, The DadLadTour delightedly announced on Twitter (boo! to all that “X” malarkey) that – following intense negotiations, many pleadings and after placing a jumbo-sized order of yellow bendy fruit with our local greengrocer – we have been able to persuade an old pal to come out of retirement to join us on our trip to Switzerland.

 Ladies and gentlemen….He’s not slim but he is most certainly shady…and he’s already rocking the new Lionesses shirt with “KELLY 18”…

Welcome back, BantamMonkey!