The DadLadTour (Now Actually In Switzerland)

Day 1 (Part 4) – Zürich – It All Kicks Off

The Match – The Lionesses take on The Netherlands

July 9th 2025

Oh! What a magnificent performance from our girls!

Just when one was badly needed too.

I’d been worried about the inclusion of Lauren James when I saw England’s starting eleven for tonight. James is such a bright talent and, at her best, displays deft footwork, delicious flair and deadly finishing that can destroy the opposition. But I worry about her attitude. Sometimes, when the match is not going the way of England, or when she is being starved of the ball, she can react badly. She has been known to see red. And a red card is something The Lionesses do not need in such an important fixture. I’ve come to refer to her, ironically, as “Smiler”.

But, tonight, my fears over Smiler were baseless. Playing out wide tonight instead of central, LJ was magnificent. She was simply unplayable and tormented the Dutch throughout her time on the field.

A long-range pass from England ‘keeper Hannah Hampton in the 22^nd minute found James in space. Smiler ran with the ball before…BOOOOOM…smashing it home from distance.

22 mins: England 1 Netherlands 0

Cue bedlam at the Letzigrund. Well, us Lionesses at the Letzigrund went berserk. The Dutch fell quiet for a while. What a goal from Smiler! My nerves eased slightly. Smiler’s strike had put smiles on everyone’s face. Except those belonging to the oranje wearers.

From my lofty(ish) perch sat atop the wall, I could see the blonde madness that is Maisie Adam’s hairdo. She seemed to be only about ten or so rows from the front and just to my left. I hoped her view wasn’t restricted and that she’d had a clear sight of the superb goal LJ had just thumped home. And credit to HH for that brilliant long pass. Apparently she does this kind of thing regularly in training.

England were back to their best. The France performance far removed from this display of technical skill, flair and finesse allied with steel and speed. We were pinging the ball around the Letzigrund as if it was a cellphone being tracked by ‘phone masts. The Netherlands were not a match for us.

A minute into stoppage and Georgia Stanway added a second to make the half-time talk a little easier for the boss.

HT: 2-0 to The Lionesses.

One of the two young women beside us went for beers – just for her and her partner, we’d only just met and weren’t really at the “fancy a pint?’ stage. She was gone so long that we thought about send out a search party for her. The Euro 2025 mascot is called Maddli – after Madeleine Boll, a pioneer in the Swiss women’s game – and, being a Saint Bernard, would have been perfect to lead the search. But, as Liam and I discovered at all three stadiums we went to, that little mascot wasn’t to be found anywhere. Liam will have to order a Maddli plushy for Emilia online instead of buying one during our trip.

Into the second forty-five and England didn’t relent.

James – my Smiler – banged home England’s third, and her second of the game, on 60 minutes.

When Ella Toone – Tooooooooney – scored our fourth seven minutes later, I eventually began to relax. Three points in the bag and our goal difference improved. The gaffer, Wiegman, patrolling the technical area, seemed relaxed too. This was a much more serener Sarina than the one we saw against France.

Each time we scored, the stadium announcer relayed the goalscorer’s name. We responded in the manner now common on the continent.

Announcer: Goalscorer for England….Lauren….

Lionesses fans: JAAAAMES!

Announcer: Goalscorer for England….Georgia….

Lionesses fans: STANWAAAAY!

Announcer: Goalscorer for England….Lauren….

Lionesses fans: JAAAAAAAMES!

Announcer: Goalscorer for England….Ella….

Lionesses fans: TOOOOOOOOONE!

After each scorer’s name was read, the announcer informed the crowd – as if we England fans needed any reminding – of the current scoreline.

Each time we gleefully shouted “NULLLL” as the Dutch side of the scoreline was read.

Announcer: England one….Netherlands…

Lionesses fans: NULL!

Announcer: England two….the Netherlands…

Lionesses fans: NULL!

Announcer: England three….Netherlands…

Lionesses fans: NULL!

Announcer: England four….Netherlands…

Lionesses fans: NULL!

Silly but fun.

Chloe came on and caused havoc. Her old man would be proud…I made a mental note to keep an eye out for him on our next tram ride.*

(*NOTE: We didn’t spot him again; I’m sure he was avoiding The DadLadTour team.)

4-0 (NULLLLLL!) to England at the final whistle. I dashed down to retrieve the flag; it’ll be needed tomorrow in Genève for the hosts, Switzerland, against Finland.

We’re a very happy DadLadTour team as we head back into Zürich. Liam calls home in time to FaceTime #GrandDaughterNo1 before she goes to bed. I mooch along the streets with the flag draped across my back. I am one happy GrumpPa. As we wait to cross a road, a tram hurtles by. From its window’s, Amy and Michaela wave excitedly at us. They both sport beaming smiles which I assume are as a result of the England result and not simply because they have seen us again.

We make our way to Kraftwerk where the @FreeLionesses have made their HQ for today. A wristband is tied to us as we enter and a plastic token given to us.

“Free beer.” Liam tells me. This only makes me happier still.

Kraftwerk is – like the queues at the Letzigrund earlier – absolutely rammed. This time it’s only Lionesses fans inside. The orange people have all slipped away into the streets of Zürich. We brave the six-deep crowd at the bar – free beer has that effect – and eventually get our freebie. Heck! A beer never tasted so good, especially after the boiling heat of the day and the wonderful match result. The fact that the beer is free makes it perfect.

But it is still packed inside. Standing room only. Bodies pressed tight together. Liam spots what looks to be another room off to one side and we squeeze our way over to see if there is any space. We pass a trio – or was it a foursome? – of fans. One is wearing a furry lioness costume; its head hangs down her back. The fan looks absolutely leathered, a sheen of sweat covers her face and her arms.

“That looks hot.” I say as we pass by.

“You’re right. I am hot.”She pulls the zipper of her lioness costume down a few more inches to just below her ample and rather impressive bosom. Then she squeezes her breasts together and jiggles them at me. “I’m sexy hot.”

Given the dynamic of the Free Lionesses, I am pretty certain that she didn’t think I was coming on to her but, not wanting to be misunderstood – what man wants to be misunderstood in this day and age? – I try to clarify. Besides, even if I’d got the “vibe” wrong, I’m way past my prime and “that looks hot” is a weak ass pick-up line.

“I meant you look very hot…erm, I mean very warm.” I pause, before adding. “Not that you don’t look sexy hot as well.”

She laughs. I laugh. She wobbles her impressive breasts again. Things are starting to get a bit on the wild side. I take my leave.

Liam and I find it much quieter around the corner. We sit and the beer tastes good. So good! Cool. Refreshing. Liam adds our blog URL to the Free Lionesses wall of support for the England team. The wall is adorned with good luck messages for our heroines. Every one is happy.

I pop to the gents. It is down a twisty metal staircase in the basement. It is dimly lit down there, signs saying “WC” are tacked to dark walls. I follow them. Around a corner I spot the pictogram for “male” beside a closed door. Another door is open and the room inside is brightly lit. I go inside. There are only two cubicles and both are occupied. I stand for a minute.

It slowly occurs to me that this room has no urinals. I hastily – and quiet as a mouse – retreat back into the dim corridor. Sure enough, a female pictogram hangs beside that open door. I try the “locked” door. This door is two things….one…it is unlocked…..two….and you are ahead of me, aren’t you?….it is the door to the gents.

Me and signs, eh…? I’ve been in the wrong trade for forty-plus years.

Back upstairs, we drink up and head off to the ZüriFanzone where we catch the last ten minutes of the France Wales first-half. As the half-time whistle blows, we both agree that we are shattered and we make our way back to our apartments. The first day of the DadLadTour is done. I think it has been epic. As a matter of fact, it has been a perfect day.

After today, the Lionesses defence of their title is back on track. Roll on Sunday when we play Wales in St. Gallen. How I still wish I could be there to see that game.

However, I’ll be back home by then. But I’ll be watching on TV and cheering on my magnificent Lionesses.